The New Master Of Eisenwald
by Toasin
Summary: Hatake Kakashi, The Blue Lightning Devil Slayer, otherwise known as The Most Perverted Man In Fiore has returned from a mission only to find the members of his guild nowhere to be seen. He hears about his guild's defeat against Fairy Tail and decides to rebuild the guild. How will Eisenwald fair with a perverted man that will now somehow manage to be their master?
1. Ch1- No Yo Momma Jokes

**The New Master Of Eisenwald**

 **Another Story :p I can't hold back, hope you enjoy it.**

 **Hatake Kakashi, The Blue Lightning Devil Slayer, otherwise known as The Most Perverted Man In Fiore has returned from a mission only to find the members of his guild nowhere to be seen. He hears about his guild's defeat against Fairy Tail and decides to rebuild the guild. How will Eisenwald fair with A perverted man that will now be their master?**

 **Chapter 1: No Yo Momma Jokes**

"Hello, anybody here?" A man said walking through the now abandoned Eisenwald building. This was none other than Hatake Kakashi, the Blue Lightning Devil Slayer. He was one of the strongest Eisenwald members and was always out on S-Class Assassination requests. "Where is everybody?" He thought as he scratched silver hair. "I have a bad feeling about this…" Kakashi sweatdropped. Kakashi walks outside of the guild and into the town centre where it's bustling with people. They seemed a lot happier than Kakashi remembered them to be. Kakashi looked at the local newspaper only to be surprised by the headline: _'Eisenwald No Longer After Their Plans Are Stopped By Fairy Tail'_ Kakashi was surprised at this headline. "Fairy Tail?" He thought. "Those bastards… but it kind of served Erigor and Kageyama right, they really thought they could get away with killing the guild masters?" Kakashi chuckled. "Erigor is probably sulking in some random place and causing hurricanes by now," Kakashi said aloud. "I should find him." Kakashi sighed through his mask. Kakashi then disappeared in a flash leaving a few lightning sparks behind.

 **In The Outskirts Of The Village**

"Those stupid fairy flies…" Erigor growled. "If it wasn't for them, everything would've gone according to plan."

"Erigor!" Kakashi shouted from a mile away. This made Erigor roll his eyes, Kakashi was the last person he wanted to see. "I finally found you!" Kakashi told Erigor while panting heavily.

"Don't fuck with me, you could probably feel my killer intent from miles away." Erigor stated.

"Well, that's kind of true." Kakashi chuckled. Devil Slayers could track and find other people based off their killer intent.

"Now what do you want with me?" Erigor asked in a rude manner.

"That type of attitude is the reason why you don't have a girlfriend." Kakashi joked but Erigor only glared at him.

"And tell me Kakashi, has being the most perverted man ever got you any girls?" Erigor asked. Kakashi's heart broke in two as his mood did a full 180.

"N-No…" Kakashi sulked.

"That's what I thought…" Erigor's voice trailed off.

"So Erigor, I heard about your incident and all I can say is I told you so." Kakashi told Erigor.

"WHY DON'T YOU SAY NOTHING HUH?!" Erigor thundered.

"Ooh, the crybaby is butthurt." Kakashi chuckled.

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE WHO IS BUTTHURT WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU." Erigor grabbed Kakashi by his neck.

"Definitely butthurt. More butthurt than a girl getting spanked." Kakashi managed to cough out. Erigor tightened his grip and threw Kakashi to the floor.

"Erigor! You should listen to your mommy and respect your elders!" Kakashi told Erigor which pissed him off. Erigor picked up his scythe that was laying on a nearby rock and pointed it at Kakashi.

"I'm going to put a hole through you if you don't shut up…" Erigor growled.

"I'm so scared… not!" Kakashi sniggered. Erigor growled and tried cutting Kakashi with his scythe. Kakashi always seemed to get on Erigor's nerves very quickly and always ended up in a fight between the two.

 **Play Fairy Tail OST- Erza vs Erza**

Kakashi disappeared in a flash of electricity and reappeared behind Erigor. Erigor used his Wind Magic to fly into the sky and dodge whatever Kakashi was going to do but Kakashi was expecting this and waited for Erigor to fly into the sky. Kakashi jumped into the sky and was about to punch Erigor when Erigor threw a wall of wind at Kakashi knocking him back down to the ground.

" **Emera Baramu! (Emera Baram)"** Erigor shouted as he put two fingers over each other in an X-pattern and engulfed himself in wind before shooting a giant blast of wind at Kakashi that resembled a torpedo. "Not happening today!" Kakashi announced. **"Burūraitoningu Debiru no Gekikō! (Blue Lightning Devil's Rage)"** Kakashi shouted a blue lighting in the form of a beam erupted from his mouth and went head on with Erigor's attack creating a rather large explosion. Erigor couldn't see Kakashi and vice versa but Kakashi still had a few tricks up his sleeve. **"Bunshin Mahō: Kage Bunshin! (Clone Magic: Shadow Clone)"** The real Kakashi concealed himself while the clone of Kakashi laid down pretending to be hurt from the explosion that occured. Erigor only grinned at seeing him like this and slowly floated down to the ground. He then kicked Kakashi in the gut but then Kakashi simply poofed away leaving white smoke behind.

"What the hell?" Erigor thought.

" **Aoraioni** **no Senkouken! (Blue Lightning Devil's Flash Fist)"** Kakashi punched Erigor to the wall who didn't even see Kakashi punching him. He only felt the impact. Erigor slowly started to see darkness but he managed to muster enough strength to get up but Kakashi was already trying to finish it. He ran towards Erigor hoping to punch him and defeat him but when Kakashi was a few centimetres away, he tripped on a tiny rock and fell forwards, his natural instinct was to grab onto Erigor to stay upright but that didn't go as planned. Kakashi pulled down Erigor's trousers exposing his boxers. His boxer pattern was rubber duckies, basically a kid's boxer. Kakashi couldn't help but snigger until he noticed Erigor's second scythe. Well, that would be an exaggeration. It was more like a stick, the sticks you find on top of apples. "Is this all you have in the locker room?" Kakashi genuinely asked before bursting into laughter. "It's so small!"

"It's small because I left the rest of it in your mom." Erigor sneered. He thought he had gotten a good insult in. Kakashi stopped laughing upon hearing this.

 **OST End**

 **Play Beginning of Fairy Tail OST- Dark Guild**

"Haven't you learnt in all the years you've spent with me…" Kakashi began standing up, but his head still tilted to the ground. Erigor got scared that he had pushed his button because Kakashi was one guy you didn't want to piss off.

 **OST End**

"THAT YO MOMMA JOKES ARE OUTDATED!?" Kakashi yelled at Erigor, the sentence took him by surprise. Erigor was definitely not expecting that.

"Okay…" Erigor said confused. He was lost for words.

"And now I'm going to make you pay!" Kakashi growled as he bathed his fist in blue lightning before uppercutting Erigor high into the sky.

"Erigor is blasting off again!" Erigor joked as he soon disappeared from sight leaving a twinkle.

"Man, what was I thinking hiring that guy to be my assistant when I rebuild Eisenwald? He still uses yo momma jokes? Damn, I've got rethink my options." Kakashi sighed. "But that can wait until I finish this chapter of Highschool DxD!" Kakashi gained a perverted smile through his mask that was clearly visible. Kakashi started reading the chapter and was getting to the good bit until a sharp wind shredder ripped his manga in half.

"RIAS WAS ABOUT TO GET NAKED YOU ASSHOLE!" Kakashi shouted as Erigor slowly floated towards him.

"Does it look like I care?" Erigor rhetorically asked. Kakashi growled, his whole body was bathed in lightning.

"H-Hey, Kakashi! You don't need to do that!" Erigor worried. Once, Kakashi started to do this, you never knew what was coming next. Kakashi roared. Kakashi then bit his hand, inspired by one of the mangas he loved.

"I AM A TITAN!" Kakashi confessed and a few seconds of silence passed. " **Gia Sekando! (Gear Second)"**. More silence passed. Erigor facepalmed. Kakashi really could be stupid sometimes. He may be a genius at fighting but when it comes to general stuff, he's pretty dumb. He was forced to drop out of school because he got in too many fights with other students and teachers that called anime and manga 'cartoons'. Since nothing happened to Kakashi, Erigor decided to attack.

"There is a new manga I'm reading! And this move I'll be able to pull off for sure!" Kakashi declared. Kakashi then pulled out a hammer from his pocket. **"Thor Zappu (Thor Zap)!"** Kakashi shouted as he pumped his Devil Slayer Magic into the hammer and shot it all out at Erigor who was surprised Kakashi even did something, Erigor got struck and was now more fried than fried chicken. Erigor fell to the ground hurt. Kakashi walked over to Erigor and chuckled.

"You cheater…" Erigor spluttered.

"How?" Kakashi questioned.

"That last move…" Erigor began. "Wasn't from a manga…" "But from a…." Erigor was about to finish his sentence but fell unconscious.

"Erigor? Erigor! Come back! Don't leave me on a cliffhanger all alone!" Kakashi screamed out crying. "You didn't finish your sentence…" Kakashi sobbed. "I knew it… I shouldn't have done that move. I know you're dead but I still have to confess. That move was from a… comic book." Kakashi admitted.

"Knew it." Erigor whispered still having his eyes closed before falling unconscious again.

 **And that's end of this chapter, sorry for the really cheesy ending! Just trying to experiment with humor. And thank you to aPoliteVillain as he gave me tips for humor and his story inspired me (well sort of, I've always had this idea, I was going to upload it as my first story to this site but I didn't know how to start it. But now thanks to him, he has ignited my motivation again for this story. I guess the updates will be about this long.**


	2. Ch2- Whatcha ya doing?

**The New Master Of Eisenwald Chapter 2**

 **Thanks you to the guest that reviewed, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now onto the chapter.**

 **Chapter 2: Whatcha ya doing?**

 **In A Nearby Forest**

Erigor was hurt from his fight with Kakashi after he was uppercutted by him and ended up landing into a forest and crashing into a tree. Erigor managed to get up even though his head hurt like hell, he staggered a bit before regaining his posture. Erigor sighed.

"The last time I checked, he was the one using your mom jokes." Erigor started wandering aimlessly in the forest.

"Erigor-senpai!" Erigor heard a voice in the distance.

"Senpai?" Erigor thought until he saw Kakashi running towards him in the distance. "How did he get here so fast?" Erigor pondered. Kakashi didn't slow down and punched Erigor and sent him crashing into a nearby tree. "What was that for?" Erigor coughed out.

"I didn't get to pay you back for destroying my manga." Kakashi simply informed Erigor.

"I thought you forgot." Erigor said.

"No, reading manga is too special, I'll never forget about my manga!" Kakashi told Erigor. Kakashi then started then running ahead of Erigor.

"Where are you going?" Erigor asked.

"Kageyama-kun's place." Kakashi replied.

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE HONORIFICS?!" Erigor roared.

"Not really, Erigor-san." Kakashi nervously chuckled. Erigor facepalmed. "Why do we even need to go to Kageyama anyway?" Erigor snapped in a rude manner.

"I thought you two were friends, right?" Kakashi questioned. Erigor shook his head.

"He's the reason why our plan failed!" Erigor explained. "So since we're _not_ friends, can _I not_ go to his ugly shack." Erigor asked implying that he didn't want to go.

"Well, I wasn't going to go to him for you to be honest. I want him to read my original story: **Icha Icha Paradise (Makeout Paradise)**. It's about my experiences in love." Kakashi explained.

"What experiences have you ever had in love?" Erigor muttered under his breath. Kakashi being a slayer, had exceptionally good hearing and smell hence the reason why he could find Erigor so easily and also the reason why he had just heard Erigor's rude remark.

"I've had a lot actually!" Kakashi bit back.

"It was a rhetorical question." Erigor responded. Kakashi stared down Erigor by crinkling his eye while Erigor stared at him back. Kakashi stopped and proceeded towards Kageyama's house. Once they arrived, it was as Erigor said. His house was basically a shack. Once Kakashi and Erigor got near the door, they heard moaning and groaning inside. It was a man's groan. Kakashi burst through the door, forgetting everything about the rules of privacy making Kageyama jump up in surprise and tumble over his coffee table. Kakashi's and Erigor's face were wide open. The thing they saw. On Kageyama's Video Lacrima, what he was wearing… It was all too much to take in for them.

"I never knew you did this…" Erigor stated surprised.

"How could you?" Kakashi asked as Kageyama gained an extremely guilty face.

"I found some DVD storage lacrimas over here with the same type of content." Erigor informed Kakashi making him more angry.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Kakashi thundered. "HOW COULD YOU COOK WITHOUT TELLING US?" Kakashi screamed at Kageyama making him shrink (in a comedic way obviously). "FOR ALL THESE FUCKING YEARS, WE'VE BEEN EATING CRAPPY TAKEAWAY AND FOOD FROM STREET VENDORS AND STOLEN FOOD FROM BARS? AND YOU SAID THAT YOU COULDN'T COOK?! AND THEN I FIND THIS?!"Kakashi was visibly angry. Some sparks flew off his body.

"I'm s-sorry." Kageyama stammered shaking and putting his hand to his head.

 _The following scenes are too violent for the target audience, meanwhile please enjoy listening to any of these songs:_

 _Barney Theme Song 1999_

 _Another Song Of Your Choice_

When Kakashi finished, he had blood dripping off his hands. "Kageyama-sama, have you learnt your lesson?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes..." Kageyama responded in a high tone while clutching his manhood. He had a black eye and a nosebleed.

"How comes he got called -sama?" Erigor questioned.

"Now, now Erigor-kun, no need to be jealous." Kakashi told Erigor making him more angry.

"You wanna fight you bastard?" Erigor inquired.

"Actually, I don't have time for that." Kakashi informed Erigor. "I want Kageyama-sama to read my book!" Kakashi grinned. Kakashi then threw the book next to Kageyama. "It's great right?" Kakashi said even though Kageyama didn't even look at it.

"Uh, Kakashi… Kageyama is not moving." Erigor told Kakashi.

"Don't worry, it's only blood loss!" Kakashi nervously chuckled.

"He looks kind of pale to me…" Erigor declared. Kakashi started to pretend he didn't do anything and started heading for the exit. Kakashi walked out of the structure and smiled at the bright blue sky.

"This is the start of my, no. Eisenwald's adventure." Kakashi thought.

"I CAN'T FEEL HIS PULSE!" Erigor screeched from inside the house knocking Kakashi out of his thoughts.

"Oh shit…" Kakashi muttered before he ran back into the house.

"We need some volts! I'll provide the oxygen!" Erigor told Kakashi who nodded. Erigor used his wind magic and pumped it through Kageyama's nose and mouth while Kakashi bathed his hand in lightning. He ripped Kageyama's clothes off (well the top part anyways) and place his palms on Kageyama's chest.

"Charge!" Kakashi announced.

"Clear!" Erigor told Kakashi while stopping Kageyama's oxygen supply. Kakashi then pumped his Blue Lightning Devil Slayer Magic into Kageyama's chest creating an electrical shock. This didn't work.

"Charge!" Kakashi announced again.

"Clear!" Erigor told Kakashi while stopping Kageyama's oxygen supply again. This time it worked but Kageyama started coughing up blood. Kageyama looked up and started looking relieved.

"Oh thank you Kami! I've been saved from utter hell! I was stuck with fairies and other girly stuff and I was stuck and couldn't move!" Kageyama explained before coughing violently again. "But my chest hurts as hell!" Kageyama informed the other two.

"Man, you had us worried there!" Kakashi laughed punching Kageyama in a joking way but unintentionally knocked him out again. Erigor facepalmed.

 **A Few Hours Later**

Kageyama was on a stretcher with Erigor carrying it along with his Wind Magic. They were heading back to Oshibana town where their guild building was located. Once they arrived at Oshibana town, they walked to their guild building where they saw construction men planning to take down the building.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" Kakashi swore at the construction men who payed no attention to him. They were already preparing the lacrima that would dissipate the building. Kakashi shouted the same thing, but now in the main construction man's ear.

"Only following orders." The man responded.

"Orders from who?" Kakashi asked.

"From the Magic Council, we were told this building is no longer needed and should be knocked down and replaced with housing." The man informed Obito.

"Those pricks!" Kakashi thought. **"Bunshin Mahō: Kage Bunshin! (Clone Magic: Shadow Clone)"** Kakashi shouted. He formed one clone and sent it to the magic council. Kakashi himself was too lazy to travel all the way to Era, he just wanted to read some manga. Well, he couldn't really read any manga since Erigor destroyed his Highschool DxD Manga book. Kakashi will never forget that moment. So he decided to read his only copy of his **Icha Icha Paradise (Makeout Paradise)** except he left it at Kageyama's house. Kakashi sighed as he was utterly bored. Well not that bored, at this rate, he would be forced to get in a fight with the construction men as they were continuing their orders.

 **With Kakashi's Clone**

Kakashi's clone had stolen a Magical Motorbike that used his Magic as fuel, he was speeding all the way to Era losing a considerable amount of Magic Power. He got to Era in around half an hour and didn't slow down the vehicle, instead he sped up and broke through the doors with the motorbike, the rune knights guarding were too slow to react meaning Kakashi was already long one when they turned around. Kakashi navigated his way around the building until he found the main room where a hearing was already going on. Kakashi broke through the doors of the main room and dramatically jumped off the bike, landing into a roll and getting back up with relative ease. The motorcycle lost control and crashed into one of the employees who was a humanoid frog. "That's one gruesome roadkill." Kakashi's sweatdropped as it was an accident, he was very lucky to find the employee still alive, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Kakashi Hatake! Not only do you come here with a motorcycle interrupting this hearing, you nearly kill someone as well?!" The second seat, Org shouted.

"No need to be so rude, Org. He has obviously come here with a reason." Crawford Seam, the chairman chuckled.

"What about our current hearing regarding Erza Scarlet and her destruction caused to the guild master conference building?" Michello, the 3rd seat argued. He despised Fairy Tail a lot and wanted to make a fool of them. But nobody took him seriously because he was rather small and his hair and moustache resembled those of a cat.

"E-Erza?" Kakashi looked next to him to see Erza Scarlet looking at him back too.

"TITTY-ANIA!" Kakashi smiled greatly as he leapt to Erza. Erza was in magic cuffs and couldn't resist his hug.

"Why don't you requip into a nicer armor?" Kakashi pervertedly looked at Erza which gained him a look of disgust. Erza didn't respond and looked away.

"Oh yeah, by the way you old geezers! Except you beautiful," Kakashi announced while looking at Ultear. "I'M REBUILDING EISENWALD BITCHES! SO YOU BETTER STOP TRYING TO KNOCK DOWN THE BUILDING, OR I'M HAVING ALL YO' WIVES." Kakashi announced.

"What type of nonsense is that?!" Org yelled.

"Thanks for your understanding!" Kakashi pretended not to hear and look at the disgusted faces of the magic council. Kakashi then used his Blue Lightning Devil Slayer Magic to amplify his speed and ran to Ultear and gave her a kiss on the cheek before doing the same to Erza before puffing away.

"IT WAS A CLONE?!" Org roared as Erza desperately tried to wipe Kakashi's kiss off while Ultear was still stunned on what just happened.

 **Back In Front Of The Eisenwald Guild**

Kakashi had knocked out all the construction members and piled them on top of each other. Kakashi had just gained the memories of his clone and smiled at what his cline done. Kakashi then proceeded to steal the lacrimas the construction members made and stored them for future use. Kakashi also decided he was going to force the construction men to help him with the guild. This was the new start for Eisenwald.

 **Another Chapter, Thanks for the two positive reviews I got! I appreciate it.**


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